Dope.

Just got back from performing at the Sundance Festival, for the NFC Championship game; and wow…I gained a lot from this whole experience.
Having been hired by ESPN, I knew that this was going to be big, but I couldn’t have imagined it would be as ridiculous as it was. Celebrities walking left and right; complimented by John Sally (Best Damn Sports Show *ESPN*), Tyrese was in attendance, Schwayze; went back stage with Cee-Lo, among various other things.

The energy was amazing, and it was just all-around mind-blowing; however, I gained much more than I thought I would. I look back and reminisce on when I began, and almost tear up whenever I even think about it. It was/is all planned out, even when I don’t know.

From the moment I began rapping in elementary school, to breakdancing in the talent show, to being ridiculously interested in messing with the piano in Ms. Thomas’ room in the 4th grade even though I didn’t know how to play, to wanting to learn basic guitar chords on my mom’s 12 string, to my mom buying me my first guitar in the 7th grade, to joining choir freshman year, to writing music, to joining drama, and not having to force anything. I wasn’t trying to fit in, it just felt so right for me to be performing, and creating music.

I realize that no matter what, this is where I belong. I’m not normal, and I’m fine with that. Countless times I’ve been pressured to follow the status quo, and grab a 9 to 5 and live the citizen-life…but that’s not me. I’m not saying I’m better than anyone, but why is it whenever I think I’m different, people have to chalk it up as “I think I’m better than everyone else”. No. I’m just different.

You may not know how it feels to not be able to sleep ‘til 7 in the morning because inspiration or an idea won’t leave your mind unless you write it down. You may not know how it feels to hear chord progressions in your head constantly playing, or rhyme schemes/rhythm patterns on repeat until you finally sequence it on the computer. You may not know how it feels to FEEL/BREATHE/LIVE the music; to cry every time you see someone perform live in a sold out concert because you know the struggle they went through to get to where they are. How it feels to be in a complete mode of ambience among the stresses of life, just by having a guitar in your hand. How it feels to escape into the music entirely.

You might not know specifically how it feels to go through these things, but you may know how it feels to do what you love; and THIS is what I love. You might know how it feels like to work for something whole heartedly for so long in your life, and finally begin receiving the fruits of your labor. You might know how it feels to be so close to reaching your dreams. You might know how it feels to prove those who doubted you WRONG. You might know how it feels to make those who believed in you PROUD.

I gained this from this weekend. I may not be “Big-Time”, but no matter how long it takes or how much bull-crap I must endure…I’m going to make my dream a reality, and I am almost there…I can feel it; whether you support me/believe in me or not, I am almost there.